The Big "Oh...no"

Never, ever, tell a guy you faked an orgasm.

It really doesn't end well no matter how you paint it.

I've only faked an orgasm a handful of times in my life. There are very few reasons I would even fake one - and believe it or not they're all good intentions.

1. You realize you're not going to cum that night, but you still want him to feel like a god.
2. You are tired, sore, and want to go to sleep. While also making him feel like a god.
3. You came close, but his knee slipped and he lost the rhythm mid thrust. So you just fake it because you're not sure if you did or not. To make him feel like a god.

The other options are to sigh, roll off, huff and say "it's not happening tonight." Which I've done. Plenty of times. And it's just a bummer, because even if I don't orgasm I still enjoy sex and seeing him enjoy himself. So, in essence, a fake orgasm is really a self-sacrifice for his. I only fake it with guys I like - if I don't like you, I'll let you know how frustrated I am. If I considered it a one night stand, I would waste no time to say what I needed and what I didn't get. But if I liked you, and cared more about your feelings than my satisfaction, I see no qualms with having to pretend a little 'O'.

Sweet, right? So how come guys get so pissy when you tell them you faked one teensy tiny little orgasm a few nights ago?

Because it is lying. They probably went and told all their friends about this awesome sex they had, how much you liked it, and daydreamed about how much of a king they were in the sack. So now they feel like a complete idiot. They should've noticed. How did they even believe it? Your legs squeezed up and everything.

Well, sweetie, I always wanted to be an actress when I grew up.

-CrazyK