Monday, August 26, 2013

Bag Me a Good One, Will Ya?

I'm in quarter length yoga pants, a badly fitting tee and flip flops. My face is particularly angry at me today - my new "BB" creme breaks me out horribly every time I put it on, but I'm too broke to afford a new one right now. I've picked and squeezed my face to the point that I look like I'm dying from scurvy. I put on my fake hipster glasses hoping they might detract a little from the google map on my face. I am definitely not looking for attention today.

I ran to the grocery store to grab some fresh mozzarella, Perrier and ice.

"Which size?" the cashier asks.

"Ummm...the good one?"

She chuckles. "We have a 10 lb bag and a 20 lb."

"10 lb it is, then"

Right at that moment a guy comes over to bag my items. He asks me how I'm doing, "Fine, thanks. And you?" like my momma taught me.

I pay, and I see him drop one of my glass Perrier bottles out of the corner of my eye. It lands hard but unharmed, but he's frozen and wide eyed.

"Watch it, buster." I joke.

"Yeah, I don't want that to be what you remember me for."

Was that a... Was that a flirt?

Unlike the clubbing incident, this is flattering and cute. Even when I look like complete shit, I still think someone is flirting with me.

But then - I immediately know it will fail. He's wearing glasses. He might think mine are real. I don't want to have to admit they're fake. Doomed from the start.

- CrazyK

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